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Post by Cyan Sayer on Nov 2, 2009 17:33:13 GMT -5
The world has not changed. Nothing at all has changed, everything is the same. That meant his reasons for living was nothing. His point of living was to die wasn't it. He was created just so he could become a guardian angel. At least, that seems to be God's idea.
Perhaps it was just ignorance. He didn't understand why he was turned into an angel. He didn't understand why he died. He didn't understand why he was born in the first place.
Cyan wasn't depressed. He just honestly didn't get it. Months ago he was alive on Earth. He had a girlfriend, he had friends, he had money. Cyan only drank and that wasn't too illegal. Then, he died. It didn't hurt. At least, he didn't remember it hurting. The bullet pierced his chest and that was it. It was random. All it was a stray bullet. His old life was only memories. But it was a good life.
It was hard though. Every day he thought about his old life. Every day he thought about her.
The Guardian Angel Cyan had just recently started his job. His jobs were easy. Usually it was following someone in possible danger. Easy work. If there is trouble he was to call someone else. Lately work has been getting more interesting. He was now dealing with young children.
He was following a small group of children. The homeless chidren ran down the sidewalk happily. It was Cyan's job to protect them without being seen. That was easy. Only angels and demons could see him but his works were seen by all.
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Miharu
Guardian
{S=2}Human
Posts: 73
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Post by Miharu on Nov 2, 2009 19:45:42 GMT -5
Miharu was walking down the street idly. She didn't feel like going home yet but had nowhere to go or ever anywhere she actually wanted to be.
She was a rather pathetic site right then. She was looking at the ground. Her black hair looked a little unkempt and even a bit greasy. she hadn't wanted to get out of bed that morning so she had lost the time that she had used to take her shower every morning for as long as she could remember.
In fact the girl had missed the time that she did almost everything in the morning. Her usual bento box was absent from her possessions and her uniform looked oddly disheveled and wrinkled.
Her fellow class mates never did understand why she wore the uniform when their school didn't require any. Usually it was because it made her feel more comfortable today it had been because she didn't care at all. She hadn't cared for a while.
Another thing that was missing was her camera. She usually never went anywhere with out it or at least before she had never gone anywhere without it. Now she never took it anywhere. It was up in her room gathering dust.
It was impossible for her to take pictures when nothing in the world seemed beautiful to her anymore. She wasn't even sure she was seeing in color any more everything just seemed so dull and lifeless.
Her shoes shuffled across the ground as she walked down the side walk. The Japanese girl almost tripped over a little kid and was forced to stop and regain her bearings.
Forced to wake up a little bit out of her stupor she looked around at her surroundings. She looked back and watched the child she'd almost tripped over running away from her laughing.
It must be nice to feel like laughing or ever running. She wondered randomly if the worlds colors really did look brighter to that little kid than they did for herself.
Miharu stood still and looking in that direction. Now she didn't even feel like moving. She let out a little sigh and turned back around. A second later she started shuffling a long again.
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Post by Cyan Sayer on Nov 3, 2009 12:58:03 GMT -5
It was fun watching the kids. They were so carefree despite being in such a bad situation. Maybe Cyan was a little selfish. For a long while he was thinking that he had a great life. But that was just it. He had a great life and he took it for granted. He knew that wasn't why he was killed. But still. He tired to make the best of his life but still it wasn't all that he could have done.
This being his life made seeing these things easy. He was too busy living his own life to be able to help others. That's the point of life he supposed. That is how many humans live.
It was odd being back in this city. This city was his home, ironic that these kids didn't live to far from him. Now that he thought of it, he remembered seeing a few of them before. Never did he think that they were homeless. Again his thoughts floated away from the kids he was watching.
This was a normal thing for him, his mind floating. He liked thinking about his past, he liked how he lived and he never wanted to forget it. Especially her. Cyan suspected within a bit she would move on. She will continue taking her beautiful pictures and find someone else. He felt a little jealous, but it was nothing he could stop.
The thoughts were interupted when one of the kids ran into a girl. He laughed and shook his head as the kid went on with life not giving his mistake a second thought. But the girl he ran into looked really familiar. However, she looked a little too worn down to be who he thought it was.
Cyan was wrong.
After looking at the girl for a little longer he realized that it was her! Cyan was over joyed. "Haru-chan!" he cried waving his hand joyously. It took him a long while to think of what he just did... and how stupid it was. She couldn't see him. No one can anymore.
But why did she look so... bad? Miharu wasn't one to let her appearance go that way. And she looked like she was missing her life (one was she was missing her camera). The kids became the least of his concerns. They continued to run forward as he watched Miharu.
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Miharu
Guardian
{S=2}Human
Posts: 73
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Post by Miharu on Nov 3, 2009 13:36:06 GMT -5
Of course she couldn't hear him and just kept on going forward. That was all she was doing was moving forward. The girl still had no idea where she was going.
She was really wishing that she didn't have her school bag or that she'd taken a regular western style backpack. Her bag was feeling heavy and annoying to carry but she couldn't just swing it on her back.
Finally she decided on a destination and headed that way. She wanted to sit down so why not head for a park and used a swing. It would be something to do and it wasn't home.
There was a park not to far away from there and at the moment it was pretty empty. She dropped her bag in the dirt and sat in the swing. she held both chairs and slumped as she gently swayed back and forth.
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Post by Cyan Sayer on Nov 3, 2009 14:58:47 GMT -5
Cyan followed her. Why did she look this way? Never has she seen her this bad... and he had seen a lot of things of her. Was it because of him? Was it all because he wasn't there? Was it all because he was suddenly taken from her?
How badly he wished he could just pick up her bag like he sometimes did when he showed up at her school. He wasn't even sure if he could. Would his fingers pass right through it like a ghost? Sure, the ground supported him, but that could be different. Even if he had the power to it would be against the rules. He couldn't show himself to humans as an angel unless it was necessary or he was given permission.
He watched from a distance as she went to the swing. There was nothing else it could be. Miharu looked this way because he had died. He would have done the same if she was the one that died. Slowly he came forward and touched her hair. It was only a gesture... he couldn't feel her and she couldn't feel him.
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Miharu
Guardian
{S=2}Human
Posts: 73
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Post by Miharu on Dec 3, 2009 23:18:43 GMT -5
Miharu moved her legs so that the swing she sat on swayed gently again when it stooped. She missed him so much. Really he had been the only person who had cared about her in a long time. Ever since her mother had died her father didn't care.
Most of her friends had given up on her. Really they didn't understand at all. They never actualy cared about her anyway. She was just another friend to them. Most of them couldn't care less if one of their friends dropped of the face of the earth let alone if a friends boy friend was dead.
Sure for the first two weeks they had been sympathetic and caring. As soon as they thought she should be over it though they instantly became annoyed with her and lost patience. They didn't invite her to things anymore or even tr to talk to her at school.
People were cold. She could help wondering why that was. She couldn't help wondering a lot of things.
"I don't understand." She muttered to herself. "Why.... Why did you take him from me......" When she prayed it was often out loud. At least when she was alone or just with Cyan. This had been the basis of most of her prayers lately. She didn't understand why he was taken from her when she needed him so badly. Obviously God knew better than her. But was a little insite so much to ask?
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Post by Cyan Sayer on Dec 3, 2009 23:59:35 GMT -5
She swayed and he gasped. His hand went straight through her head. It went completely unnoticed by her, and he didn't feel a thing. But it was still uncomfortable to see his body just go through human bodies. The angel stepped back a few times looking at his hand. Uncomfortable wasn't the correct word. It was wrong and traumatizing. Cyan wasn't depressed. He just honestly didn't get it. Months ago he was alive on Earth. He had a girlfriend, he had friends, he had money. Cyan only drank and that wasn't too illegal. Then, he died. It didn't hurt. At least, he didn't remember it hurting. The bullet pierced his chest and that was it. It was random. All it was a stray bullet. His old life was only memories. But it was a good life.
That was now all a lie. Well, the fact he wasn't depressed. He had been sure that Miharu would have moved on. Miss him, sure, but at least moved on with life. But that wasn't the case. As she thought his life stopped so had hers. Didn't she know that he- "I don't understand." She muttered to herself. "Why.... Why did you take him from me......" Cyan looked back at her. The sadness he now felt hit an all time low since he had died (and that is more then three times the amount he had when he was alive). She was blaming God for taking him? But he was right here! If only she could see that... That gave him the most briliant idea. He wasn't allowed to show himself unless he had to. But he was allowed to move things, he was allowed to touch things. So really, he wasn't breaking any rules. The Guardian Angel stepped forward. He suddenly felt the wind touch the palm of his hand. He could feel the weight of gravity. He could feel the temperature of the air. His hand then rested on his girlfriend's shoulder. The texture of her clothing brought her happiness. The warmth of her body brought tears. It took him everything to just lay a gentle hand on her shoulder and keep it that way. But all he wanted to do was hug her. Why had God torn them apart?
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Miharu
Guardian
{S=2}Human
Posts: 73
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Post by Miharu on Dec 4, 2009 0:19:55 GMT -5
There was a hand on her shoulder.
She jumped, really she hadn't expected anyone to approach her no matter how depressed she looked. After she calmed down she turned to tell whoever it was that she was fine. It was a lie but really there wasn't much that anybody could do for her.
Once she was turned she froze. The hand was still there but she couldn't see anybody. Very slowly her hand reached up and placed itself over the spot.
There was nothing. Warmth, but no hand. She still felt the hand though. Was she going crazy maybe? Was she wanting so much for someone to reach out to her that now she was imagining it?
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Post by Cyan Sayer on Dec 4, 2009 0:31:37 GMT -5
Cyan could feel every movement she made. It seemed to make everything worse. Sure, he was right here. He was right beside her. But that meant nothing. He wasn't allowed to show himself to her. He was gone in her eyes. The winged angel that wanted to hug her was more or less a figment of her imagination.
The hand touched hers and he couldn't help it any longer. He was just about to be in uncontrollable tears. His hand started closing, gathering a fist fill of her shirt.
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Miharu
Guardian
{S=2}Human
Posts: 73
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Post by Miharu on Dec 4, 2009 0:41:31 GMT -5
Her eyes went wider as she felt the hand closing around her shirt. That was definitely not her imagination. So either she was crazy or something was happening. What it was that was happening she wasn't exactly sure.
"Is someone there?" Was this an answer to her prayers from God? If it was she didn't know what it was that the hand was telling her. Why couldn't things ever be easy.
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Post by Cyan Sayer on Dec 4, 2009 0:51:56 GMT -5
His clutched hand began to shake. Why... Why couldn't he just tell her that it was him? Why couldn't he show himself? Why did he die?
That was the main problem. For a long while he had come to terms with his passing. It was painless and he had a good life. The problem is, he could have had a better one. He could be alive right now, Miharu wouldn't be sad... she would be taking care of herself. He didn't want to live for him, he wanted to live only for her sake. Wasn't that the correct wish? The want to live for others?
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Miharu
Guardian
{S=2}Human
Posts: 73
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Post by Miharu on Dec 4, 2009 1:00:51 GMT -5
Miharu's eyes got even wider if that was possible. She wished she knew what was going on. The hand was shaking. She looked down at her shoulder again, still nothing.
There wasn't a reply to her question either yet it was obvious that there was someone there. What and who that someone was is what the question was.
Her heart gave a slightly painful squeeze. She knew what she wanted to believe but that was pretty much impossible.
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Post by Cyan Sayer on Dec 4, 2009 1:14:21 GMT -5
His other hand came to his face. That was when he first realized that he was crying. Apparently even angels could still cry. That didn't seem fair. What was the point of being an angel if the world still was painful. Wasn't heaven suppose to be a perfect place? But he wasn't in heaven right now. He was on Earth. He was in the flawed place that he loved and now wished he could go back to.
Out of wild thoughts in his head his fingers sank through the cloth of her shirt and touched her skin. It felt like she was a furnace. It wasn't that he was cold, nor was she warm. It was the fact that it was her skin. It was the fact he was touching her again.
He was out of his mind now. He let feeling come to his other hand as well. The breeze brushed against his hand as he reached up and brushed her face. His hand was still moist from the tears.
He didn't care about the consequences of his actions. He just prayed to God.... To himself... That someone wasn't watching him.
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Miharu
Guardian
{S=2}Human
Posts: 73
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Post by Miharu on Dec 4, 2009 1:42:22 GMT -5
She gasped slightly as the feeling of the hand touched bare skin. Then again as another invisible hand touched her face. What was going on..... Was it really that simple? Was it what she thought?
She couldn't think of anything else. Only one person had ever touched her that way. A gentle caress of her face. Then again maybe she was just getting her own hopes up, maybe she really was crazy.
"Cyan-Kun?" Her voice shook slightly. She was probably wrong even if something actually was happening. But she wanted it to be him so badly.
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Post by Cyan Sayer on Dec 4, 2009 1:51:49 GMT -5
"Cyan-Kun?" His name coming from her lips brought him more joy than he could have ever thought possible. But then in a matter of seconds it brought terror. What was he doing?! Though the fact that she recognized him was exactly what he wanted, that was exactly what the angels above him didn't want. The children he was suppose to be watching couldn't even know that there was an angel watching them, let alone his name. Cyan quickly pulled away from her. He didn't know what to do now...
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